Merry Christmas

MERRY CHRISTMAS TO ALL........

Wow, this holiday season has been full of ups and downs. On the one hand I'm happy that I was able to spend time with my family and on the other, I'm missing those who have passed on. Either way, I'm truly thankful for the many gifts I've received this year from God. I'm not talking about presents, I mean "true gifts". These gifts are things that have no monetary value but they hold sentimental value. I have been so blessed to spend another year holding my daughter, being able to talk to my mom, texting with my brother, playing Words with Friends with my bestie, or just watching my husband smile at our child when he thinks I'm not looking.

These are the things you can't put a price tag on; the things that REALLY matter in life. To me, that's what the Christmas holiday is all about; sharing, living, laughing, appreciating, and giving. I have been blessed and I pray that you have been blessed as well. Take time today to reflect on the day's events and really just say Thank You Jesus, it's because of you I'm able to ______. He knows your needs and your desires, so just thank Him in advance. I promise you, when He answers, that gift will be like no other.

.......AND TO ALL A GOOD NIGHT

Longing to Live on Purpose

I attended the memorial service for my friend yesterday and I must say it was beautiful. Stories were shared as well as laughter and tears. I think the most touching part was when the video tribute was played and she actually was able to speak long enough to thank God for blessing her abundantly and personally thanking her friends for always checking on her. Needless to say there wasn't a dry eye in the place.

Afterwards, the minister couldn't say a lot because, as he put it, "she basically gave her own eulogy". So instead of the traditional eulogy, the minister asked us to think about the impact she had on our lives and asked one question: "What will you do with what she gave you?" Now that was powerful. He cited all of the wonderful things people had to say about her from her jovial spirit to her love for God. He reminded us, that all of our days were numbered and death was surely certain, so what will we do with the time in between birth and death.

 I admit, I thought about that very question all night. I remembered looking around the sanctuary at all of the friends she made and the lives she touched. I looked at the people celebrating her life yet mourning the fact that we will no longer see her smiling face or hear her laughter that could fill the largest of rooms. I thought to myself, I want to live life to the fullest. I want to change lives and live ON PURPOSE. Basically, I wanted to live like my friend. Through every illness she suffered, and there were many, she greeted every battle with strength and courage. She never let her pain define her; she was the true definition of a survivor. She purposefully touched the lives of adults and children alike, leaving a legacy that is surely slated to please the Lord for as long as we are on this Earth.

As for me, I want to leave this life knowing I did what God required of me and most importantly I want my friends and family to know that I loved them with all my might. I will truly miss her shining light and her thoughtfulness. I know she wouldn't want the tears so I shed my last tear last night and took comfort in knowing she heard the words she longed to hear "Well done my good and faithful servant, well done".

Building Bridges

There comes a point in your life when you have to learn to forgive certain things. I think I speak from experience since I was once a person who could "take a grudge to the grave" if I had to; I have since changed my perspective. Holding grudges sucked the life out of me.  I had to learn there are some people who will never see things like you, they will never love like you, and they may never understand how their actions shaped who you are today.

Though time had passed and life had moved on, I still held on to all of the bad stuff instead of realizing how much I benefitted from the bad treatment. See, thanks to the bad boyfriends and the best friend from hell, I figured out a lot about myself. I realized I am worthy of love (that's what led me to the man I am now married to); I am worthy of a friend who gives like I give (I've had the same BFF since the 10th grade) and I am most certainly free from the crap that caused my severe bouts of depression during the last two years of high school.

I've learned to simply build bridges and get over the things I can't control while changing the things I can. It really is that simple.
Be Blessed!

Emotional Roller Coaster

As the work week is finally ending I suddenly realize I've been on an emotional roller coaster this week. First I sent my daughter to school on the bus for the first time. She had the biggest smile on her face because now she is a "big girl" but I cried all the way back to my home. Then on the same day, I get an instant message from one of my friends letting me know that another friend had passed away from a battle with cancer, and there went the water works all over again.

Yesterday was non-eventful, I tried not to focus on my sadness and actually found some time to laugh. I was able to get through the day with only a little work drama and little human interaction.
Today, was much better, we have the kid all set to start softball. She is excited to try something new, I'm excited that she's excited, and Daddy is excited because his baby girl is interested in sports. Talk about the little things, LOL.

 Now with that being said, I know life has it's ups and downs but it's how we handle each situation that really determines who we are. This week, I chose to focus on the good times with my friend, her zest for life, and her determination to put up a good fight. I cried for a while, but I realized she wouldn't want sadness, she would want me to remember her fondly and that I do. It has been a tough week for me but I'm still here. I know that I am strong, I know that I am faithful, and I know above all, God doesn't make mistakes. When I pray to Him and ask that His will be done, I have faith it is done. So tonight, after this very difficult week, I can sleep easy and rest well knowing that I am safe in His arms and can do all things through Christ.
Be Blessed Y'all.

This Time Might Be Your Last

I have had a really rough day today so I am re-posting my FaceBook status from this morning. I'm emotionally drained but I know joy comes in the morning.

    I just found out that a dear friend of mine passed away yesterday. It's strange to think I won't be able to joke with her anymore or listen to her laugh or see her smile. When I met her she had already been attacked by cancer once but was true survivor. I saw her in Feb. and she told me her body was under attack again. she was in Chemo but she was at work laughing and smiling. Unfortunately this time she wasn't able to beat it. I miss her already. — feeling sad.

 

I am so glad I had the chance to know her and experience her sense of humor. She was a wonderful person to work with and a joy to be around. I feel much better than this morning because when I thought back to our last conversation, I hugged her, I told her to let me know if she needed my family to do anything for her while she was out of work, and finally that night I prayed for her healing. God knew she was tired and her body had been through so much.

 

The moral to this story is when you see someone you really care about, you need to treat them like it will be the last time you will see them, because it might really be the last time.

Be Blessed!

Regaining Focus

The older I get, the more I tend to reflect on errors past. I know it's really not good to dwell and I am the first one to tell people to move on already, but it really is hard. I think about all the plans I had for myself, the choices I should have made etc. But in the end, it doesn't really matter. Life is all about chances and circumstance. We are given more than one road and while the destination may be a certainty, the journey itself  is a little more arbitrary. We like to think we have control over things when we really don't. We have no idea what's in store for us but yet we still focus why ended up in one situation or another. Instead of focusing on why we got there, we should focus on how we got there. Now where to start????

There is no "art" to pleasing others

I posted this on my Facebook page but I thought it was worth posting twice, so here goes.

Please stop wasting your time and energy trying to please other people, it's just not possible. Misery loves company. I'm much happier knowing that I treat people the way I would like to be treated while asking God to order my steps. When someone treats you badly, pray for them, then yourself, and keep it moving. Please don't allow others to block your blessings.

HouseHusbands of Hollywood

While I try to stay as far away as possible from "reality" shows, I do tend to find one or two that catch my attention from time to time. My newest reality vice this year has been Fox Reality Channel's "Househusbands of Hollywood". The premise of the show is to basically follow the day to day lives of husbands/significant others where the female is the primary bread winner. The show features:

• Billy - former professional Baseball player with the Dodgers and husband to a Hollywood make-up artist and father of two beautiful girls.
• Danny - newlywed, aspiring actor, now supported by his wife whose an Attorney (who works too much) and father to 2 Pugs.
• Charlie - Actor, whose wife is a psychologist is a father of one and a has served time in prison (He's also a friend of Ryan O'Neal).
• Grant - Former marine/actor whose the husband of a LA TV Personality and dad to Ruby.
• Darryl - Actor best known for his role as Ron on "A Different World" and partner of 16 years of Tempest Bledsoe(Vanessa Huxtable-"The Cosby Show").

There are several reasons why I like this show but the most important one is the relationship that is shown within their families as well as one another. I'm sure it's not easy to be known as a Mr. Mom, but in reality most of these men are just that. They take care of their households, support their partners, and still manage to carve out time to bond and support one another. This show gave me a different perspective on men that stay at home and how the family dynamic is affected. I'm not sure my husband could handle staying at home full time with our daughter while I work. (I'm honestly not sure how I would handle it either). The show has a lot to offer and grows on me more and more each week. Check it out on Fox Reality Channel, Saturday nights at 10:00 pm.

Gone too soon..

The very first friend I made when I moved to Georgia passed away this weekend. She was a sweet girl and very kind. She opened her home and heart to me when she barely knew me. I was a friend of her cousin, but she quickly became my friend as well.

Over the years, life took over and I lost touch not only with my friend but with her cousin as well. I'm not sure why, but I'm sure it was my fault. When I heard of her passing today, I immediately began to cry. Of course I was sad that she was gone and that her life ended so soon. But I was also sad because I had taken her friendship and kindness for granted and I'm not sure I ever thanked her. She never asked for anything in return and always greeted me with a smile and a kind word. To say she is gone to soon can't even describe what I'm feeling right now and who am I anyway to determine anyone's time. I'm sure it was her time but I always ask "why?"

I offer my condolensces to her family and friends for only they know how special she truly was. I often hear that people are in your life for a reason and a season and most of the time, I can say AMEN to that. This time I'm afraid the season came and went too soon for me and I will never get a chance to thank her for taking me into her home and embracing me the way she did. Though I didn't know her long or maybe as well as most, I will always have fond memories of her. I will miss you C.J. RIP.