God's Love is No Ordinary Love

Have you ever been through so much that you find yourself asking "Lord, why me?" everyday. I used to be there. I used to wonder why someone who tried so hard to be good to people always seemed to end up on the wrong side of things. I'm not saying I'm perfect (I'm far from it), but I don't intentionally set out to do people harm, yet I felt someone was always after me. The Devil was busy.

 This past year has really been a test of faith for me. Personally I've experienced some things that I never thought I would, but I'm still here. My friend explained to me, that God chooses his most faithful, so they can pass the test and tell the story. Isn't that what being a Christian is all about? We can't truly have a testimony without a "test" can we? Of course not! It's easy to praise God when things are going good, but it takes TRUE FAITH, to praise Him in your circumstance.

I had to learn that dealing with God (or Him dealing with me) is truly different than dealing with man. Man will have you believe bad things happen to good people, but God's word tells you that He takes His relationship with us personally. When we lose our way and begin to focus on the world instead of staying close to Him, He becomes jealous and rightly so. I guess this is what the old folks meant when I used to hear them say God is vain. I admit, I used to think that was so disrespectful to speak of God that way but as I grew closer to Him, I started to understand what that truly meant. He does so much for us, He blesses us with life, love, happiness, good jobs, beautiful families, yet we don't have time to say hi or hello until something goes wrong. Even still, He loves us, no matter what the hour, now matter what we've done.  If we ask for forgiveness, He's there. I'm in awe of Him daily.  He wants us to understand how much He loves us, after all He sent His Son to die for us so that we may be free; Isn't that the ultimate love? Who else loves you like that?

Four Weeks to the Day

It's been exactly 4 weeks since George Zimmerman was found Not Guilty in the murder of Trayvon Martin. My question is what have you done to make a difference? I can honestly say I haven't done a thing and I am ashamed.

In the last 4 weeks, I have been blessed to be able to kiss my kid goodnight EVERY  night, Trayvon's parents cannot. In the last 4 weeks, I have sent my kid off to camp and/or school and watched her come home every day, Trayvon's parents cannot.  In the last 4 weeks, I have watched the changes in my daughter , Trayvon's parents cannot. In the last 4 weeks, I have talked with my kid about her future, Trayvon's parents cannot.

I don't know what the future holds. All I can do is pray to my Heavenly Father that he will keep my family safe from harm. My hope is there won't be another George Zimmerman or another Trayvon Martin, but the reality is, if I don't stand up, there will be. Though time may help the community heal from this tragedy, we must not forget what happened and what will happen again if we don't do something about these bogus "stand your ground" type laws. Remember the term "flip the script"? I say we "flip the script" and stand our ground. We cannot rest until these laws are changed. Trayvon cannot rest in peace until these laws are changed. Will you stand with me?

Emotional Roller Coaster

As the work week is finally ending I suddenly realize I've been on an emotional roller coaster this week. First I sent my daughter to school on the bus for the first time. She had the biggest smile on her face because now she is a "big girl" but I cried all the way back to my home. Then on the same day, I get an instant message from one of my friends letting me know that another friend had passed away from a battle with cancer, and there went the water works all over again.

Yesterday was non-eventful, I tried not to focus on my sadness and actually found some time to laugh. I was able to get through the day with only a little work drama and little human interaction.
Today, was much better, we have the kid all set to start softball. She is excited to try something new, I'm excited that she's excited, and Daddy is excited because his baby girl is interested in sports. Talk about the little things, LOL.

 Now with that being said, I know life has it's ups and downs but it's how we handle each situation that really determines who we are. This week, I chose to focus on the good times with my friend, her zest for life, and her determination to put up a good fight. I cried for a while, but I realized she wouldn't want sadness, she would want me to remember her fondly and that I do. It has been a tough week for me but I'm still here. I know that I am strong, I know that I am faithful, and I know above all, God doesn't make mistakes. When I pray to Him and ask that His will be done, I have faith it is done. So tonight, after this very difficult week, I can sleep easy and rest well knowing that I am safe in His arms and can do all things through Christ.
Be Blessed Y'all.

Damage Control

I've been watching a lot of talk shows lately and I'm still amazed at how many people will put their business out there for millions of strangers to see. How many times can the same female go to Maury for a DNA test? After telling guy #25 "you are NOT the father" wouldn't you give up? I think I might. How many times can you run off stage crying because you were 110% positive that this dude was the kids' father and you were wrong. It's ridiculous. I wonder if these people ever sit down and consider the damage they are really doing to themselves and their families. Sometimes I want to tell these women to think before you act. We all make mistakes but you have to move on. What's more important, testing 20 or more men or raising a healthy well adjusted child? Personally, I'll take the latter.

Although every child deserves to know their father, I wouldn't want my kid to one day pull up the archived footage of me on some talk show testing multiple men to prove their paternity. Not only would they have to deal with possibly never knowing the truth about their dad, but now they have to deal with a truth about mom. The truth that mom put herself out there with so many men, unprotected, and now she doesn't know who my father is. The child doesn't care that mom is suffering from her own emotional baggage, or that she is acting out because of some childhood trauma that has yet to heal. If I can see the woman has issues, it's possible the child can see it as well.

This isn't about judgment, it's about choices. We have to stop being victims and take our lives back, at any cost. We have to be accountable for our behavior so we are free to move on . Whatever is going on now or has happened in the past, we have a choice of what we put out there for the world to see. We have to decide what's in the best interest for ALL parties involved and make the best choice for the family. We have to stop looking for fame and think about the inevitable damage you could do.

This Time Might Be Your Last

I have had a really rough day today so I am re-posting my FaceBook status from this morning. I'm emotionally drained but I know joy comes in the morning.

    I just found out that a dear friend of mine passed away yesterday. It's strange to think I won't be able to joke with her anymore or listen to her laugh or see her smile. When I met her she had already been attacked by cancer once but was true survivor. I saw her in Feb. and she told me her body was under attack again. she was in Chemo but she was at work laughing and smiling. Unfortunately this time she wasn't able to beat it. I miss her already. — feeling sad.

 

I am so glad I had the chance to know her and experience her sense of humor. She was a wonderful person to work with and a joy to be around. I feel much better than this morning because when I thought back to our last conversation, I hugged her, I told her to let me know if she needed my family to do anything for her while she was out of work, and finally that night I prayed for her healing. God knew she was tired and her body had been through so much.

 

The moral to this story is when you see someone you really care about, you need to treat them like it will be the last time you will see them, because it might really be the last time.

Be Blessed!

God Used Me Today

Have you ever heard God speak to your spirit?

Today, while shoe shopping with my daughter, I heard Him speak to me. For some reason this lady was drawn to us, she always seemed to be on my aisle or in the same general area we were in. Now I'm not typically prone to talking to strangers while I'm on a shoe mission, but this time was different. We ended up talking a little bit about her twins and how beautiful I thought their names (Messiah and Brooklyn) were. She talked to my daughter and we even shared opinions on the shoes we were thinking of buying. Near the end, we just gradually drifted to other areas of the store but of course she ended up in line behind me. The line wasn't long but I had enough time to get out my $5 off coupon. For some reason I turn to her and ask if she has a coupon, she smiled and nodded "No". So I said, "let me get you one, because they just sent me another one today and I'm almost sure it will expire before I need to come in here to buy shoes again". She stood smiling while I made sure the extra coupon was valid and then I handed it to her. She smiled again, said thank you to me and then said "Thank you God!" She thanked me again before I left the store and even one more time in the parking lot when she realized she had parked next to me.

 I really didn't think much of it then but that coupon was good for another 45 days.  Normally, I'm really stingy with my coupons, but for some reason I came off this one with no concerns. The point to this story is, God uses us in so many ways. That $5 off coupon might not mean a lot to some but maybe for her it made the difference in whether or not she could  buy that second pair or shoes. I am so glad I listened when God spoke to me. The lady was clearly grateful to me but I should be grateful that He chose me to be a blessing to someone else.

I Remember Way Back When....

This past May, I went home to assist my mom after she had surgery. While there, I decided to clean, stop laughing, I really did. Anyway, she had a LOT of outdated frames so I decided to remove the 900 pictures she had in each frame, lol.( I have never understood why she chose to stack pictures versus removing them, but I digress.) My mom keeps EVERYTHING; from the very first ornament I made ( you know, the old cookie dough with your kindergarten picture in the middle) to my High School Diploma (yes, she had an official copy made). Moving on. As I was removing, or trying to remove, some of the photos, I came across some class pictures taken when I was in the 1st and 2nd grade. It was terrific to see the young faces so full of promise AND hope.

Tonight I decided to post the photos on Facebook and they were a big hit. Once the comments started coming in, I was amazed at how many people I couldn't remember, but there was always one person who could come up with a name for the not so clear face. We talked about how truly young we were and it started me to thinking about how times have changed. I know people say that all the time, but honestly it's true. See at the time those photos were taken, there was no cell phone for me to use, no Wii or Xbox to run home and play. There was no Facebook or Twitter to connect with friends, old and new. There was no worrying about if someone took an unflattering picture of me that it would end up online for the entire world to see (back in my youth, there wasn't even an internet, WOW, that's right I said it.) I can even remember when my grade school received their first Apple 2C computer (each school in the county had one and it was placed in the library for everyone to gawk at.) I could go on  but I think you get the picture.

People always say how easy kids today have it, but is it really that easy? As I was typing this, I realized we may have actually had it better than kids today. I REMEMBER WAY BACK WHEN we didn't have to worry about cyber-bullying or not being able to afford the latest SmartPhone or even being accepted on Facebook by people we barely like. I REMEMBER WAY BACK WHEN we didn't care about playing outside in the heat and getting dirty and sweaty in the process. I REMEMBER WAY BACK WHEN we weren't too cute too eat mud-pies and play 1-2-3-redlight and hide-n-seek in the broad daylight for everyone to see. I REMEMBER WAY BACK WHEN we weren't counting calories at 12 years old because we didn't want to gain weight. I REMEMBER WAY BACK WHEN knew how to act our age because everyone on the block reminded us when we got sassy. Most importantly, I REMEMBER WAY BACK WHEN we didn't have to worry about looking "suspicious" because we wore hooded sweatshirts or being gunned down because our music was too loud for the person in the next car .

Yep, we had it much easier than kids today. So the next time I feel the need to ridicule a young girl or boy for having it too "easy", I will try to REMEMBER WAY BACK WHEN and be more understanding because times really have changed.