Daddy Dear

I finally watched an episode of Braxton Family Values the other night and quite honestly I got more than I bargained for. While I typically shy away from a lot of reality TV, this was by far the best one I’ve seen yet. This particular episode focused on the siblings getting together in their hometown to have a family meal with their father. Though I don’t know the details of their relationship, I was drawn to keep watching as the sisters’ anticipation grew. In all, these successful, beautiful, independent and GROWN women were excited about spending time with their “daddy”. Despite the fact that I don’t have that type of connection with my biological father, it was heartwarming to see the vulnerability in those women.

As the sisters, their mother, and their one brother sat down to the meal, various topics were discussed from Toni’s decision on posing for Playboy to the shift in the family dynamic over the years but as time went on, I noticed that “daddy” hadn’t shown up yet and I wasn’t alone. 30 minutes passed, then 1 hour and so on. After several attempts to contact him, to no avail, the siblings realize it’s not going to happen and they head back to the airport and to their own lives obviously devastated and heartbroken. As they wait to depart it appears I’m no longer watching the successful Braxton sisters, I’m now watching the heartbroken little girls crying, being consoled by their ever present mom and one another and I was hurt.

This scene was so profound because it speaks volumes to the importance of Fathers in our lives. See, it doesn’t matter, how successful you are, how much money you have or even how old you are, every little girl desires their father’s love, attention, and acceptance. Their heartbreak at the age of 40 is no different than the one experienced by the little girl of 5 or even 10 years old when she realizes Daddy isn’t coming today. Parents, especially fathers, need to be more conscious of the effects their actions have on their daughters. The absence of the father in a young girl’s life shapes her opinion of men as she enters into adulthood and ultimately plays a role in her social development and self esteem. While these ladies are all grown up with families of their own, the presence of their father could further validate their inner strength thus strengthening the entire extended family as well.

Ode to the Non- Effective "Leader "

The older I get, the harder it is for me to put up with stupidity and ignorance. These days, I really find it quite difficult to converse with people who have no clue about the subject at hand or life in general.

Some people go through their lives oblivious to the world around them but expect you to resepect their opinions and authority. I have news for you, just because you are in a "leadership" role does not make you an effective leader. An effective leader knows that in order to be a good leader you must first have a strong foundation. An effective leader can engage in fruitful discussions with at least a basic knowledge of the subject. An effective leader will allow you to express your concerns without fear of retaliation. An effective leader embraces the strengths in the people around them. An effective leader allows others to feel valued and appreciated. An effective leader knows how to motivate peopele when the chips are down.
So the next time you are sitting at your desk, giving out misguided information, think about the qualities of an effective leader, realize you are not one, and send in your resignation letter.

Kids being raised as gender "neutral"

I just saw the story about the Canadian parents that decided it was best not to share the gender of their new  child, not even to  the grandparents. What is the world coming to when parents are raising their children to be gender "neutral"? What does that even mean? I get that you don't want your child be stereotyped but isn't hiding their gender  a bit much? I don't buy the parents argument that they want their child to grow up without blue is for boy and pink is for girls "stereotypes", sounds like the parents just want some attention. They are parading that baby around for any media outlet that comes there way but they want us to respect their privacy.  Does this sound crazy to anyone but me? 

Let's face it, children have enough stress without the added pressure of not knowing if they are a boy or a girl.  Gender is not a lable it's biology, pure and simple, and while I agree it shouldn't be the main focus of our identities, it is very important to our development.  A parent's role is to create a nurturing, stable, inclusive environment. Ultimately a child's upbrining can (and will) determine their success as an adult, but they still need to understand the basics of life.  The world is made up of different types of people and we should be able to teach our children about diversity and the importance of acceptance without acting like the differences don't exist at all. 

This is just my opinion but it's also my blog. Peace and Love <3.

Let Her Eat Pork!!!

I listened to my favorite radio show this morning and they played an audio clip of Rush Limbaugh criticizing First Lady Michelle Obama's eating habits. This is nothing new, but I was taken aback by one of his comments in particular. He basically ranted about Mrs. Obama being photographed recently while she was eating ribs and stated she should focus on practicing what she preaches with regards to eating healthy and setting a good example.He also suggested she is "fat", stating she will not be on the cover of Sports Illustrated. The irony in his statements are amazing, have you seen him lately? He has to be over 250 pounds himself and yet he can publicly criticize someone for their weight and eating habits. It's really quite laughable.

Mrs Obama is setting a wonderful example, she is a mentor and champion of children worldwide and she proves it time and time again. She is not only promoting healthier eating habits for our children but she also promotes staying active. Not once have I heard the First Lady say you can't indulge once in while but she is concerned that children across OUR Nation are not getting the basic nutrients and activities their bodies need to sustain a healthy lifestyle.

The keyword in the First Lady's campaign is habit, which means the norm. She would rather see a  child eating a healthy balanced meal and riding a bike versus eating chips and playing video games everyday. So while you may see her eat ribs once in a while you better believe this is not her normal meal pattern.

Regaining Focus

The older I get, the more I tend to reflect on errors past. I know it's really not good to dwell and I am the first one to tell people to move on already, but it really is hard. I think about all the plans I had for myself, the choices I should have made etc. But in the end, it doesn't really matter. Life is all about chances and circumstance. We are given more than one road and while the destination may be a certainty, the journey itself  is a little more arbitrary. We like to think we have control over things when we really don't. We have no idea what's in store for us but yet we still focus why ended up in one situation or another. Instead of focusing on why we got there, we should focus on how we got there. Now where to start????

Getting back to ME!

It’s been a while since I’ve written anything on here, or anywhere else for that matter. I initially started writing because I had to, school essays, work presentations, etc but not I write because I enjoy it. Writing helps me release all of the emotions have bottled up inside so I guess it’s my outlet.  I’ve gone through a lot in the past 6 months so I decided to take a break to focus on ME. Someone asked me a while ago about my blog and if I was still writing to which I replied “ I’m on a break, I need to focus on me right now”. Now I realize by not writing, I’m doing the exact opposite. Focusing on me means doing the things I love, reading, exercising, and yes writing.  Somehow, somewhere, I lost focus but as I come toward the end of my 6 month journey ( more on that another time), I realize that I need this avenue, this outlet, I need to get ME back. Here I am, so stay tuned……