Thought of the Day: Should we care that he loves her?

Why is it that when a man tells his woman he's been cheating on her she immediately wants to know two things: How long? and Does he love her? Should you really care if he loves the other woman or not? Does his admission of love make the act any less hurtful? Does it ease your pain? I wouldn't think so. While the question may be a natural reaction, I'm not sure that I care if you love this other chick or not.

Women make it too easy for men to recover from such transgressions by denying (whether truthfully or not) their love for the other woman. Once a man says "I don't love her, I love you", women fall right back into their arms. On the other hand, if he says "yes, I love her", women immediately want to know why and proceed to try to "fix" themselves to seek acceptance from the cheater. Here's a note: when a man cheats on you, the problem may very well be within him and not you.

We as women should love ourselves enough to know that no matter what we have going for us and what we provide, if he wants to cheat he will. No explanation necessary. If a real problem between you exists, decide if the relationship is actually worth saving and make moves accordingly. But please don't justify his actions by finding fault with yourself. You will spend the rest of your life in constant repair mode possibly to no avail.

Teacher cuts a girl's hair out of frustration: I don't think so!!!

I read Essence.com daily and I was appalled to read a story regarding Lamya Cammon a student at Congress Elementary School in Milwaukee. The story is about her teacher becoming frustrated with Lamya's constant twirling of her hair (which was braided with beads on the end). To sum it up, the teacher claims she asked the child to stop playing with her hair on several occasions and even held her back from recess due to this classroom "distraction". The teacher admits that after she told the child several times to stop, she called her up to the front of the class, pulled out the scissors and cut this child's braid off. Lamya was obviously upset and embarrassed (of course the other children laughed) so she went back to her seat in tears. Her mother was in disbelief and so am I. What is wrong with the teachers in our schools these days? As a parent, I'm angry for several reasons:

1. The teacher, in my opinion, posed a threat to the child by approaching her with scissors
2. The teacher actually told the mother that "if the child continued she would do it again". I'm not making this up http://www.essence.com/news/breaking_news/seven_year-olds_mother_speaks_out_about.php
3. The teacher only received a fine of $175 for disorderly conduct
4. The school system hasn't issues any type of disciplinary action to the teacher. Actually the child was punished by being placed into another classroom where she doesn't know anyone.

While I know this child's actions may have been distracting, was this really the appropriate behavior modification we expect from our educators? I wouldn't think so. This is a clear example of the emotional abuse young girls experience everyday. Yes children are resilient but it really makes me mad this happened in the first place.

Tiger's women: Home wreckers anonymous!

How many more women have to come forth with their allegations of affairs with Tiger Woods before we say enough is enough? It's obvious that these women are after some sort of financial gain. Why else would they even speak about their "relationships" with this married man.

Most of the negativity is being placed on Tiger's doorsteps because he's the public figure, but shouldn't these women suffer some sort of ridicule as well? Why does society put so much stock in the testimonies of these home wreckers? Shouldn't we turn our backs on them and say keep your trashiness to yourself ladies, we're not interested? Instead, we rush out to read the latest blog (thank you by the way) or to pick up the latest gossip rag which adds to their ill-gotten gain.

We know these chicks have been paid very well for their stories but I still feel sorry for them. They are really sad and desperate individuals, how else can we explain their behavior. Unlike some mistresses, these females knew this man was married with a family (& money) but they chose to have sexual relations with him anyway. Really, how low is their self-esteem. Well if they didn't know before they will soon because in a few months the story will die down, Tiger will go on with life (assuming his wife stays with him of course), Elin will still have all of the financial perks, but these women will forever be known as the one time mistress of Tiger Woods. That's it. What then? Nothing and that's exactly what they deserve. Then again, maybe they can start a club something like home-wreckers anonymous-where one time mistresses meet to discuss the culmination of their trifling ways.

Adam Lambert: The man of the hour

So Adam Lambert has caused yet another "controversy" on ABC with his sexually explicit performance on the AMA's earlier this week but why? Lambert has stated in several interviews that he feels it's a double standard and sited the many instances where female performers have done similar things in their televised shows and nothing was said or done as a reprimand. Let's not mention the millions of performances where male singers are groping and kissing the female fans and dancers on stage and no one says a thing.

I know everyone remembers Madonna tongue kissing Britney Spears at an award show several years and while it sparked some controversy, it's nothing like the backlash for Adam Lambert. So is there a double-standard for gay and straight entertainers? I think so. Madonna made no apologies and Adam shouldn't either. He has been very outspoken about his lifestyle and seems very comfortable in his skin. I'm amazed that in 2009, major TV networks still appear to be more conservative than their viewing audience. Sure, they received phone calls and emails but how many really? I mean come on, I saw the performance and while I was shocked I was far from offended. There are far worse things on TV that I need to complain about and Adam Lambert kissing a boy on stage isn't one of them. I feel he is being condemned for being a Gay man, period and it isn't fair. While I may not agree with his lifestyle, he has a right to his choices.

This is why some people shouldn't be allowed to reproduce

The story of 5 year Shaniya Davis just proves my point on why some people aren't fit to raise an ant farm let alone a child. While I will not go into details for fear of becoming physically ill, 25 year old Antoinette Davis reported her 5 year old daughter missing amidst reports that she allegedly prostituted her daughter out for money. The beautiful little girl's body was found today in Fayetteville, NC. I don't know what makes me more sick, Davis selling her daughter for sex or someone actually paying for sex with a 5 year old when you have women that sell their bodies willingly.

I am a true believer that some women are just simply unfit to have children. If you know you are one of those people, do the world a favor, either keep your legs closed or learn how to use a condom. How many more examples of the supremely unfit do we need? Susan Smith, Andrea Yates, this Antoinette Davis b****. I mean really? I know we can't take them all out and shoot them in the streets ( although I don't see why not), but you can't tell me that the people around these females ( I won't dare give them the respect of being called a woman) couldn't see the signs. And people ask me why I'm in favor of the death penalty. Do I need to say more?

Is Chris Brown the only one at fault??

I told myself I wouldn't address the Chris Brown and Rihanna situation but I lied. Everyone is talking and voicing their opinion so here's mine. First let me say that I in no way condone domestic violence on a female or male. So with that being said, I would like to know how much responsibility does the victim need to take? I'm sure it's easy to say Rihanna is in no way responsible for what happened but is that really true. If I'm understanding her verbiage correctly, this wasn't the first time their verbal altercations turned physical. So why stay in this relationship? Love is one thing but stupidity is another.

Everyone makes mistakes and their celebrity in no way erases that fact. While most of the blame should fall on Chris Brown (especially since he witnessed this type of behavior in his own home as a child), shouldn't Rihanna accept some of the blame as well? We have all heard the stories of women being beaten to death by their partner only to find out this wasn't the first time the violence happened. At what point can we say, enough is enough and the get the hell out of there.

Again, it's probably easy for me to say this from the outside looking in (thank God for that) but I wonder how hard is it to leave an abusive partner, especially with no children involved. Don't we owe it to ourselves to put our safety first. If he hits you once, statistics say the chances are very high that he will hit you again. The ending rarely changes and that's the sad part. Is Chris Brown at fault? Sure he is. Has he really changed? Who knows, only time will tell. A man should never hit a women, but a woman shouldn't stay around long enough to see him make a change.

H1N1 virus hasn't improved personal hygiene!!ugh

Just another example of why people make me sick, literally. The H1N1 virus is real and people are dying. So please tell me why some of my co-workers insist of leaving the restroom without washing their hands. By my account, this building is probably swarming with all types of bacteria and viral infections simply because people don't bother with personal hygiene. I just don't understand it. Please be nasty on your own time, don't force your poor habits on others. PLEASE PLEASE WASH YOUR HANDS...someones life may depend on it. Okay the rant is over and I'm done with this one for now. :)