There is no "art" to pleasing others

I posted this on my Facebook page but I thought it was worth posting twice, so here goes.

Please stop wasting your time and energy trying to please other people, it's just not possible. Misery loves company. I'm much happier knowing that I treat people the way I would like to be treated while asking God to order my steps. When someone treats you badly, pray for them, then yourself, and keep it moving. Please don't allow others to block your blessings.

More cutbacks in the education system- you can't be serious

Many school systems in Georgia are facing cutbacks which include:

• School closures - which happen to be in mostly African-American neighborhoods
• Salary cutbacks- Teachers aren't paid enough as it is, now they have to come to work on teacher workdays with no pay, are you kidding?
• Shorter school week - Really, these children are out of school enough, do they really need more free time??

I'm not pretending to know how to lighten the financial burdens that some districts are feeling but these types of cutbacks shouldn't be an option. Where is all of the revenue from the Georgia lottery and Ad Valorem Taxes going?

We are very fortunate to have educators that are willing to come out of their own pockets to purchase classroom supplies, stay after school with our children when needed, in addition to working a few days a year with no pay. We have to consider other options before these teachers give up on the system altogether. Our children deserve better, our educators deserve better. Come on Georgia and Governor Sonny Perdue, make something happen.

Thought of the day: You must be stupid to commit a crime today!

I watch a lot of true crime shows like Forensic Files, The First 48, Domminick Dunne's Justice, etc. and I still cannot for the life of me understand what makes people so stupid. I mean really what is it that make you so special to think you can get away with something as serious as murder or rape? We are in a technological age and DNA is no joke. I think the problem is that most states with the death penalty take too long to act. This is a personal opinion but I truly believe in that ultimate punishment and think it isn't used enough. I've said it before and I'll say it again, stupidity is all around us and you have to be some kind of stupid to commit a crime these days.

A woman scorned

By now most of you have probably heard about the "jilted" lover's billboard revenge. If not, I will summarize it the best that I can. YaVaughnie Wilkins had a long term affair with Oracle software President (and member of President Obama's Economic Advisory board) Charles Phillips which apparantly didn't end on good terms. So in the ultimate act of revenge, YaVaughnie decides to out her former lover by purchasing billboards in 3 major cities, including Atlanta and New York, of her and "her" man while they were together. She went further to create a website which has since been shut down. I won't go into further details, the story can be viewed in it's entirety on the NY Daily news website.

It's no secret that a woman scorned can be your worst enemy, but was this really necessary? What did this woman really expect out of this? While she may have sought the ultimate revenge on this man for whatever reason, did she forget that she was a part of this seedy relationship as well? True she got back at him and publicly humiliated him and his entire family, but what does this say about her? While he may be a dog, what does that really make her? She just publicly admitted to knowingly having an affair with a married man, UGH.

First, let me say this, I have done some stupid things in my life and made some very bad choices and most were emotional. Now, here's my two cents: As women, we need to be careful how we carry ourselves. Our choices and behavior carry a lot weight and ultimately speak to our true character. We should think before we act. If someone makes you angry, our first defense is to retaliate, it's normal and human nature. But, we need to ask ourselves some questions first:

1. Is this really worth it?
2. What was my part in this situation?
3. Can I go to jail for my actions?
4. When this is over, will I still be able to look myself in the mirror and know I would do things the same way again if I had to?
5. Could my actions possibly jeopardize my future?

If you don't like the answer to these questions, DON'T DO IT!! It really is that simple. I know it's 2010, but we are still held to different standards from men. Sure some women will praise her for her antics but I'm not one of them. This stuff may be cute when you're young but now as an adult. She's over 40 and should know better. These things always turn out the same way: He will go on to bigger and better things and she will only be known as the woman who slept with a dog and told everyone about it.

Goodbye to 2009 and New Year's Resolutions

Happy New Year! Wow if you are like me, you cannot believe that another year has passed us by. As with any new year, we all start to make resolutions we know we can't keep and vow to make this year the best yadda, yadda, yadda. Without fail, I will do the same this year, so here goes:

In 2010, I resolve to make no more New Year's Resolutions!!!

Whew, I'm glad I said it, now the pressure is off when I can't lose those dreaded 20 lbs. LOL. I can't understand why we torture ourselves every year with this stuff. Shouldn't we make every year better than the last? Shouldn't we all attend church more often? Shouldn't we all live more healthful lives. I for one plan on starting this year on a good foot by being more true to myself and the life I lead. Well, maybe that is a resolution in itself..(what can I say, I lied...).

Thought of the Day: Should we care that he loves her?

Why is it that when a man tells his woman he's been cheating on her she immediately wants to know two things: How long? and Does he love her? Should you really care if he loves the other woman or not? Does his admission of love make the act any less hurtful? Does it ease your pain? I wouldn't think so. While the question may be a natural reaction, I'm not sure that I care if you love this other chick or not.

Women make it too easy for men to recover from such transgressions by denying (whether truthfully or not) their love for the other woman. Once a man says "I don't love her, I love you", women fall right back into their arms. On the other hand, if he says "yes, I love her", women immediately want to know why and proceed to try to "fix" themselves to seek acceptance from the cheater. Here's a note: when a man cheats on you, the problem may very well be within him and not you.

We as women should love ourselves enough to know that no matter what we have going for us and what we provide, if he wants to cheat he will. No explanation necessary. If a real problem between you exists, decide if the relationship is actually worth saving and make moves accordingly. But please don't justify his actions by finding fault with yourself. You will spend the rest of your life in constant repair mode possibly to no avail.

Teacher cuts a girl's hair out of frustration: I don't think so!!!

I read Essence.com daily and I was appalled to read a story regarding Lamya Cammon a student at Congress Elementary School in Milwaukee. The story is about her teacher becoming frustrated with Lamya's constant twirling of her hair (which was braided with beads on the end). To sum it up, the teacher claims she asked the child to stop playing with her hair on several occasions and even held her back from recess due to this classroom "distraction". The teacher admits that after she told the child several times to stop, she called her up to the front of the class, pulled out the scissors and cut this child's braid off. Lamya was obviously upset and embarrassed (of course the other children laughed) so she went back to her seat in tears. Her mother was in disbelief and so am I. What is wrong with the teachers in our schools these days? As a parent, I'm angry for several reasons:

1. The teacher, in my opinion, posed a threat to the child by approaching her with scissors
2. The teacher actually told the mother that "if the child continued she would do it again". I'm not making this up http://www.essence.com/news/breaking_news/seven_year-olds_mother_speaks_out_about.php
3. The teacher only received a fine of $175 for disorderly conduct
4. The school system hasn't issues any type of disciplinary action to the teacher. Actually the child was punished by being placed into another classroom where she doesn't know anyone.

While I know this child's actions may have been distracting, was this really the appropriate behavior modification we expect from our educators? I wouldn't think so. This is a clear example of the emotional abuse young girls experience everyday. Yes children are resilient but it really makes me mad this happened in the first place.